Thursday, May 31, 2007

Befriend The Darkness

Last night I got a text message from a friend about something that got me thinking about it the next day. At first, I was not that interested because it was such a cliché question. I used to think about this question long time ago but kind of forgetting it now. Many philosophers have been asking the same question: what makes us happy? Aristotles, hedonists, utilitarists, etc. are among them.

Here is the conversation:


He, 10:40 pm
Could you say one reason why we should be happy in this life?

Me, 10:54 pm
A lot: instant noodle when it’s raining, lying down on grass field facing up d sun, long talk with a friend, surprising emails or calls … etc. Hehe, not serious?

He, 11:07 pm
They r temporary. U wont lie down on d grass field all year, or have a surprise call every day. Just one thing as a reason 4 us to be happy in this life … (?)

Me, 11:17 pm
I don’t thnk theres ONE thing that could make people happy permanently. It’s a combination of many thgs and has more 2 do with our state of mind.

He, 11:32 pm
If this is so, d one thing we seek after is d happy state of mind: how we perceive this life. It depends on d state of mind, not things in d world.

Me, 11:42 pm
Yeap. Maybe the correct word is not ‘perception’, too idealistic. It should include our attitude, approach towards life. Why asking? Seeking 4 happiness? Hehe

He, 11:57 pm
Why asking? Doesn’t Heidegger say question is d piety of thinking? I am practicing it. Life isn’t that interesting but that’s why it is interesting to think about it.

Me: 12:11 am
Really? I thnk life is soo intrstng that’s why it is interesting to thnk abt it ;-). Full of unpredictable thngs, mystery, irony, anxiety, unspeakable moments … Sometimes despair, pain, boredom color it. But they make life more intrstng. It’s a truly great work of art.


But when I was writing down my last message I actually forgot that I myself had been too focused on goals or targets (no matter how authentic they are). I thought achieving the goals would make me feel happy and enable me to escape the gloomy, depressing, disturbing emotions or state of mind such as despair, anguish, agony, boredom. Unfortunately, they are a fact of life. They are parts of life. Instead of running away from them maybe I should befriend them. Oriah Mountain Dream perfectly says it in the Invitation:

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain

mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I must say that I agree with Neale Donald Walsch, Happines is to created as a result of certain conditions, it is the other way around, Certain conditions are created as a result of happines.

So if we still keep thinking what does it really need to make us happy, it's like a dog chaising it's own tail ..

Anonymous said...

If certain conditions are created as a result of happiness, then what creates happiness that creates those conditions?

Back to square one: what is happiness? This is just meant as a reflective question. Of course, thinking about happiness would not create happiness ;-). It'll be too easy, Bon ... far too easy if that's the case ...